Word of the Week - Marriage

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31

My wife Amy and I hosted our second Heritage Forum Couples event last week at Pursell Farms and it reminded me once again of the blessings of my marriage relationship with Amy.  Over the past 6 years since founding the Heritage Forum www.heritageforums.com, I have worked with a team of friends/leaders to minister to hundreds of high-capacity men in the area of building a godly Heritage to leave a lasting godly legacy.  The reality is that marriage is a holy partnership and until we have unity in our vision as a couple, we are handicapped in our God purpose as a couple and family.  The true power is released when a couple shares in their God vision, mission, and values for their marriage partnership and family.  This unlocks amazing potential for building godly Heritage and generational blessing and legacy.  We started the event with Amy sharing her perspective on the Heritage process and how it has impacted her and our family.  Her perspective is very different than mine, but this is really the blessing of the marriage partnership by God’s design.  It reminded me of the purpose and power of the sacrament of Marriage.  It also encourages me to be a better husband and partner.  We are much better when we are together and unified in Christ!!!!

The sacrament of Marriage is a beautiful gift from God; whereby one man and one woman become united as one through the sacrament of holy matrimony.  For followers of Christ, this union is the only life-long covenant relationship before God (spirit) and man (law).  God established the sacrament of marriage to mirror Christs relationship with His bride, us the Church.  “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory!  For the wedding of the lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready.  Fine linen, bright and clean, was given to her to wear.” (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.) Revelation 19:7-8

Our most refining relationship – The marriage relationship has many benefits and has the potential to produce our greatest blessings in life such as children/family, deep companionship and unconditional love.  It also has the potential to produce the most pain and strife if not submitted to the Lordship of Christ.  Since it is a God ordained covenant relationship, when we get married we are signing up for a lifetime commitment (covenant) regardless of the circumstances that life throws at us, “until death do us part”.  This is pretty intense when you really stop to think about it.  I am not sure I really understood this on my wedding day.  There is no doubt that God knew exactly what He was doing when He instituted the sacrament of Marriage, where two people from different families of origin come together to become one, which in itself can be a major challenge.  No matter how much we love our spouse, there is always going to be friction as we die to ourselves to become one, and navigate the blessings and challenges of life.  This is truly a refining and sanctifying process that either breaks us, or if we allow the spirit of God to work in us, it helps us conform to the image of Christ.  I can honestly say that after 33 years of marriage, there is nothing on earth that has challenged and refined me as much as my marriage relationship with my wife Amy.  I know that God has used my marriage to make me a better person in every area of my life, thank you Lord Jesus!!!!  Ephesians 5 is one of the most beautiful and challenging chapters in the bible as it describes our relationship with Christ in the context of the marriage relationship; “and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2. Paul goes on in Ephesians 5 to give us instructions on our roles in the marriage, first and foremost that we die to ourselves by submitting to Christ and one another, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” Ephesians 5:21.  Specific instruction for wives “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” Ephesians 5:24, then to husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25  I think the Lord makes it pretty straightforward for us but are we willing to trust Him by His word?

Marriage prepares us for our eternal union with Christ  - God is so good that He designed marriage for our benefit to enjoy the beautiful blessing of covenant companionship and the process of reproducing and building our families so we can have a heritage and legacy that we can pass to future generations, which is a wonderful blessing.  That being said, I think His greatest purpose in the sacrament of Marriage is to prepare us for our union with Him as the bride of Christ.  He gave us a tangible way to experience a small glimpse of what we have to look forward to for eternity and to help prepare us for our great wedding banquet with Christ.  I have found over the years of marriage that the most important key to having a good marriage is to stay connected to your spouse.  This requires intentional daily pursuit, we have to continue to put logs on the fire to keep the fire burning strong.  We must live sacrificially and cherish our wives/spouses.  In other words, we have to make our spouses a top priority to keep a healthy and growing relationship.  Our marriage begins with a great ceremony exchanging vows before God and man but only thrives if we stay connected over a lifetime, which is easier said than done.  Ask all the great people you know who’s marriages did not make it.  I believe our marriage relationship resembles our walk with God through our relationship with Jesus.  It begins with the day we surrender our hearts to Jesus and commit our lives to Christ but it only survives and thrives if we stay connected to the vine of Christ through our daily abiding walk with Him. In fact Jesus said we can do nothing of the Spirit unless we are connected to the vine of Christ.   “I am the vine and you are the branch, if you abide in me I will abide in you, and you will bare much fruit.  Apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

As we grow in marriage and unity with our spouse we must depend upon God to give us what is needed to become a godly spouse and as we abide/connect with Christ, we become more Christ like in preparation for our eternal union with Christ.  These things work together to help us become who God called us to be in Him.  What an amazing God we serve.

If you need some practical biblical insights on how to enhance your marriage especially as it relates to communicating with your spouse, I would highly suggest you watch this message from Jimmy Evans on God's Perfect Plan for Marriage_2_25_2024.  In this message Jimmy does a wonderful job of outlining what it looks like to live out Ephesians 5 in our marriage.  I was convicted and realized once again that I have a ways to go!!!!  I am nowhere near where I used to be, but I am surely not where I want to be. 

Blessings,
Duane