Word of the Week - Testimony (God Story) - Part 2
“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Rev. 12:11
Testimony" is translated from the Greek word martyria, which means "evidence." But not just any evidence. To put it simply, your Testimony is your God story, which includes the pain you've been through on the way to where you are today. Every believer has a Testimony and even though they can be very different from person to person, they all matter and should be used to testify to what God has done in our lives.
My Personal Testimony – In last week’s “Word of the Week”, see below, I shared a message on the power of our testimony (our God Story) and how it can and should be used to encourage others to come to faith and walk out their faith. This past Monday I shared a very short version of my testimony with my team at Founders and encouraged them to look for opportunities to do the same. In this spirit, I feel led to share my testimony with you. I hope it encourages you and increases your faith and hope in Jesus!
Before I knew Jesus in a personal way my life from the outside looked somewhat normal, and most people who knew me back then would probably say I was good. The truth is that I was deeply struggling on the inside. I felt lost and without purpose. I lacked identity and thus I was terribly insecure. I believed in God and knew that the answer to my identity and purpose crisis had something to do with God, but I didn’t know how to resolve it and I was fearful of what that meant. I had a religious and performance-based view of God. I lived with guilt and shame and felt like I was never good enough. I had habitual sin in my life that I knew was not good or healthy, but I did not have the power to overcome it. My thought life was not healthy. I would try to escape my reality by dreaming and fantasizing about things that were not healthy and at the worst of times, not pure. My key relationships (wife, children, family, friends) were ok but surely not thriving. I had several strained relationships on the verge of falling apart. My basic view on life was how do I get through this life and my responsibilities in a way that is decent and admirable. I lived with fear and anxiety. I was chasing things and very temporal life experiences in my pursuit of happiness. I did not really understand true joy or peace and surely was not experiencing it in my life.
In pursuit of the American Dream, I underwent many trials in my late twenties and early thirties that rocked my world. I started a business immediately following graduation from business school with lots of hope and enthusiasm. Over a four-year period, the business nearly destroyed me and my family. It cost me almost everything, but I was determined to succeed. By brute force I poured everything I had and worked tirelessly to overcome the challenges I was facing. To the world this may sound noble but in hindsight it was terribly foolish and selfish. It led to what I thought to be a near death experience. At the ripe age of 29, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance thinking I was having a heart attack to find out after an overnight stay and series of tests, I had an anxiety attack. Financially, we had invested everything we had in the business and were on the verge of personal bankruptcy. I had given everything to the business and my life was a mess and empty. It was even affecting my health in a major way. “There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end leads to death” Proverbs 14:12 Fortunately, my dear wife Amy finally said enough is enough and gave me a clear ultimatum. “She told me that I would either get out of the business or else it is over for us!” This began a long series of terribly painful events including having to ask my father-in-law to help me out of this situation, which was terribly painful for me due to my pride, insecurity, and fear of failure. This life experience impacted me in a way that made me question everything and I started asking the deeper questions to find the answers.
How I came to receive Christ – After selling out of the business, I began focusing on getting my life back in order and somewhat healthy. My life stabilized and got back to a more normal and sustainable pace but I was continually plagued with discontent and lack of identity and purpose. Not to mention my wife Amy was enduring an intense battle with depression that was really challenging for us. I felt God was calling me to a deeper relationship with Him. My brother-in-law Hamp Green and my sister-in-law Colette had recently come to faith. I had heard their testimonies and seen a major shift in their lives that got my attention. They had recently joined a new church in Bham called Church of the Highlands. They invited us to attend, and in the first service I attended I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me toward something new, but we were not ready to make that move. I then started attending a men’s small group at Richard and Patty Ann Randalph’s house in Crestline where Pastor Chris Hodges (PC) was leading a group of young businessmen on a study of finding our “Life Purpose”. I was dying to know my God given purpose. PC made it so simple and said “If you want to know your life purpose you must know the God, the one who created you for a specific purpose”. He referred to Ephesians 2:10 and made it clear that God created every person for a specific and unique God ordained purpose. To know our purpose, we have to know God in a personal way and surrender our lives to Him. So that day in the fall of 2001 at the ripe age of 33, I surrendered my life to Jesus in Richard’s living room. I have never been the same since!!!!!! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, and the new is here.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
After I surrendered my life to Jesus – I had always heard the term “Born again” but I never understood what that meant and was somewhat fearful of what that would mean if it happened to me. Well, I learned what it meant to be “Born again”. I know every salvation experience is different, but for me I experienced a miraculous and profound change in my life. It was like I woke up the next day after surrendering my life to Jesus and my heart and brain had been reprogrammed. I had a very new and different perspective on life, and I came alive in way I had never experienced. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, you must be born again”. John 3:6-7 It was amazing and so encouraging for me. I immediately began to know and experience my God purpose and for the first time in my 33 years of life, I felt true joy and peace. I had true sense that God had washed away all of my sins, and I was starting a “new life” with a new identity that was grounded in Christ. It gave me so much joy and excitement and set me on a new path that I have been walking on now for 23 years. I have experienced lots of trials and challenges in my life over the past 23 years since giving my life to Jesus, but I have found purpose and hope in all of these trials. I see how God is using the trials of my life to sanctify me and do something great in me and through me for His glory and purpose. I now find purpose and joy in my trials.
I shared with my team last week how much God has blessed me and my family over the past 23 years. It is very hard to articulate the difference in my life from before and after knowing Jesus. For me it is literally like two different lives. Before Jesus, I lacked purpose and identity and lived in fear with a sort of survival got to attitude that made life difficult. I will never know what would have been for my life and family if I would not have come to faith in Jesus, but it is likely I would not still be married and probably not leading Founders, to mention just a few. Without knowing Jesus in a personal and intimate way and experiencing the hope that comes in knowing Him, I would likely not have had the conviction and internal strength to persevere through many challenges of life. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” Romans 5:1-8
I have lived the past 23 years with a God purpose and knowing my identity in Christ. I live my life with excitement to see what God will do. I am blessed beyond measure in every area of my life. Starting with my marriage and family. Amy and I have been married for 33 years and have experienced many trials in our marriage. By the grace of God, our relationship is better than it has ever been. I have 3 amazing and healthy daughters who love and serve Jesus, two amazing sons by marriage and 7 awesome and healthy grandkids, with number eight on the way😊!!! Our grandkids are being raised in godly families. We have a godly heritage that we believe will endure for generations to come. To my knowledge, I have no broken or strained relationships in my family or amongst my friends. I have an amazing life filled with life giving relationships. I get to be part of an amazing church and live in a flourishing community of believers. God is using me, our family and business for ministry in ways I could have never imagined. I have abundance flowing in every aspect of my life, which allows me the opportunity to be generous with my time, treasure, and talents!!! This is the abundant life that Jesus talks about that is available to all of us if we surrender our hearts and lives to Him, make Him Lord of our lives and stay connected to the vine of Christ through abiding. The only difference between the before and after is Jesus! Jesus said “I am the vine and you are the branch, if you abide in me (stay connected) then I will abide in you (give us His power) and you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing”. John 15:5
Blessings,
Duane